Thursday, November 24, 2005
Thanksgivings
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
I was going to just leave it at that, but then decided that I would share with you the avid readers some of what I am thankful for.
5. Turkey, turkey, turkey and more turkey.
4. No traffic on the streets, though nothing is open either so that doesn't really help any.
3. Holiday movie season opens officially. This is usually a large amount of crappy touchy-feely movies, but inbetween the CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS and the CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN 2's, we get LotR's, KING KONG, and CHRONICLES OF NARNIA.
2. 30 days until Christmas, or as I like to call it Give me give me give me Day.
1. I have 359 more days until I have to hear the bleeping Adam Sandler Thanksgiving song. For the first 10 yrs it was cool, now it is one of the most annoying songs ever!!!
Happy Thanksgiving everbody.
I was going to just leave it at that, but then decided that I would share with you the avid readers some of what I am thankful for.
5. Turkey, turkey, turkey and more turkey.
4. No traffic on the streets, though nothing is open either so that doesn't really help any.
3. Holiday movie season opens officially. This is usually a large amount of crappy touchy-feely movies, but inbetween the CHRISTMAS WITH THE CRANKS and the CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN 2's, we get LotR's, KING KONG, and CHRONICLES OF NARNIA.
2. 30 days until Christmas, or as I like to call it Give me give me give me Day.
1. I have 359 more days until I have to hear the bleeping Adam Sandler Thanksgiving song. For the first 10 yrs it was cool, now it is one of the most annoying songs ever!!!
Happy Thanksgiving everbody.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Uwe-turn
I was on the website of Uwe Boll's latest masterpiece of video game-movies.
BLOODRAYNE:
This is the official synopsis from the website.
Bloodrayne is a genre all to itself. It is packed with action, but it's not an action film per se. It is a mighty adventure,
but it's not a pure adventure film.
There are mythical and immortal creatures of great power and evil, but it's not a typical vampire movie. Bloodrayne crosses all genres'.
There is romance, adventure, action, drama and a raging battle of good against evil.
With an all-star cast, including Academy Award Winner, Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen (Species), Michelle Rodriques, Meatloaf and Kristana Loken (T-3, the Terminatrix),
Lets break this down just a little bit.
After more then 100 yrs of movies, Uwe Boll has created an entirely new genre? Amazing I say because I for one have never heard of a movie that included vampires, a great evil, romance, action, drama etc. But you know if I could make a movie like that I would probably cast Kate Beckinsale as the lead, and maybe title it... I don't know... UNDERWORLD!!!
What the hell is a typical vampire movie? Dracula? Dracula 2000? Blade 1, 2, or 3? John Carpenters Vampires? the above mentioned Underworld?
Again "... Bloodrayne crosses all genres'." but it doesn't seem to catch any of them according to the synopsis.
Then there is the cast: I don't know how a hack like Ben Kingsley got cast in this but I forgive Uwe for that by casting the master thespian Meatloaf. Who did not get a tear in their eye watching his performance in Rocky Horror Picture Show? And I still say it was not from the onions that I was cutting at the time.
Anyways, I for one plan on camping outside of the theater for at least a week prior to the release as I know that it is going to be packed. First blockbuster of 2006.
Best,
Teaspoon
PS. THIS ENTIRE POST WAS MEANT TO BE TAKEN FOR SARCASM. FoUK AND ALL OF ITS SUBSIDIARIES DO NOT ENDORSE THE MOVIE BLOODRAYNE AND IN FACT BELIEVE THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD ANYONE EVER SEE A UWE BOLL MOVIE. EVER. AS IN NEVER EVER. DO NOT LET YOU LOVED ONES GO SEE THIS MOVIE, IN FACT IT WOULD MOST LIKELY BE CRUEL TO SEND THOSE YOU DON'T LIKE TO SEE THIS MOVIE EITHER.
REMEMBER BOYS AND GIRLS: FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WATCH UWE.
BLOODRAYNE:
This is the official synopsis from the website.
Bloodrayne is a genre all to itself. It is packed with action, but it's not an action film per se. It is a mighty adventure,
but it's not a pure adventure film.
There are mythical and immortal creatures of great power and evil, but it's not a typical vampire movie. Bloodrayne crosses all genres'.
There is romance, adventure, action, drama and a raging battle of good against evil.
With an all-star cast, including Academy Award Winner, Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen (Species), Michelle Rodriques, Meatloaf and Kristana Loken (T-3, the Terminatrix),
Lets break this down just a little bit.
After more then 100 yrs of movies, Uwe Boll has created an entirely new genre? Amazing I say because I for one have never heard of a movie that included vampires, a great evil, romance, action, drama etc. But you know if I could make a movie like that I would probably cast Kate Beckinsale as the lead, and maybe title it... I don't know... UNDERWORLD!!!
What the hell is a typical vampire movie? Dracula? Dracula 2000? Blade 1, 2, or 3? John Carpenters Vampires? the above mentioned Underworld?
Again "... Bloodrayne crosses all genres'." but it doesn't seem to catch any of them according to the synopsis.
Then there is the cast: I don't know how a hack like Ben Kingsley got cast in this but I forgive Uwe for that by casting the master thespian Meatloaf. Who did not get a tear in their eye watching his performance in Rocky Horror Picture Show? And I still say it was not from the onions that I was cutting at the time.
Anyways, I for one plan on camping outside of the theater for at least a week prior to the release as I know that it is going to be packed. First blockbuster of 2006.
Best,
Teaspoon
PS. THIS ENTIRE POST WAS MEANT TO BE TAKEN FOR SARCASM. FoUK AND ALL OF ITS SUBSIDIARIES DO NOT ENDORSE THE MOVIE BLOODRAYNE AND IN FACT BELIEVE THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD ANYONE EVER SEE A UWE BOLL MOVIE. EVER. AS IN NEVER EVER. DO NOT LET YOU LOVED ONES GO SEE THIS MOVIE, IN FACT IT WOULD MOST LIKELY BE CRUEL TO SEND THOSE YOU DON'T LIKE TO SEE THIS MOVIE EITHER.
REMEMBER BOYS AND GIRLS: FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WATCH UWE.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
From the president
Hello there FoUK fans,
As president of the FoUK I get benefits and accolaides befiting my status, but with that I also have to take responsibility for when things go wrong. - Enter unneeded comic book quote to drive home the point - "With great power comes great responsibility".
Things have not gotten off the the rockin start that myself, the staff and all of our investors were hoping for. In fact you could say things have gotten off to a ROCKY start. ahahahahahahaha...
Sorry I sometimes find myself funny though I have been told by many people that I don't have a sense of humor. I digress, unfortunately with my primary artist out of commission due to his computer's graphics card taking a giant dump we are far far behind on posted the FoUK web comic and for that I sincerly apologize.
At the same time I would like to assure everyone, including the angry mob outside our building with pitchforks, bricks, and what appears to be me burning in effigy we will be posting the comic soon, Shea (the artist) has assured me that he has been working hard at getting several panels done and as soon as he gets his computer back he will be posting them right away.
As a special note to all of the people chanting "there should be no spoon" outside. While I can appreciate the pop culture tie-in, it is slightly disturbing and some of your choice phrases on your posters are both hurtful and alarming, that is why I will be leaving by company helicopter.
Thank you, and best wishes
Teaspoon
President
Fountain of Useless Knowledge
As president of the FoUK I get benefits and accolaides befiting my status, but with that I also have to take responsibility for when things go wrong. - Enter unneeded comic book quote to drive home the point - "With great power comes great responsibility".
Things have not gotten off the the rockin start that myself, the staff and all of our investors were hoping for. In fact you could say things have gotten off to a ROCKY start. ahahahahahahaha...
Sorry I sometimes find myself funny though I have been told by many people that I don't have a sense of humor. I digress, unfortunately with my primary artist out of commission due to his computer's graphics card taking a giant dump we are far far behind on posted the FoUK web comic and for that I sincerly apologize.
At the same time I would like to assure everyone, including the angry mob outside our building with pitchforks, bricks, and what appears to be me burning in effigy we will be posting the comic soon, Shea (the artist) has assured me that he has been working hard at getting several panels done and as soon as he gets his computer back he will be posting them right away.
As a special note to all of the people chanting "there should be no spoon" outside. While I can appreciate the pop culture tie-in, it is slightly disturbing and some of your choice phrases on your posters are both hurtful and alarming, that is why I will be leaving by company helicopter.
Thank you, and best wishes
Teaspoon
President
Fountain of Useless Knowledge
