The Fountain of Useless Knowledge

So there is more big news in the world of beautiful people.

Brad and Angelina are having a baby!!!!!

This would not be that big of news, but for the fact that they somehow manage this without ever being "together". Some of the women here, in the offices of the Fountain of Useless Knowledge, say that this just proves that Brad Pitt is God made flesh. Whatever that is about. We don't get it, is he actually that good looking?

A LITTLE HISTORY
"Arguably one of the most beautiful couples on the planet have called it quits today. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have seperated after 4 years of marriage. Both sides wish only the best for each other." (Yeah right, we HATE this diatripe-bullshit. How is it that every celebrity couple that breaks up can only hope for the best for the other? Just once I would like to see a couple break up and have the woman say something truthful like "I hope that *bleep*ing *bleep* dies of an anal disease!!)

"Brad Pitt has been sighted in the company of his Mr. and Mrs. Smith co-star Angelina Jolie, only 2 months after his seperation from Jennifer Anniston. Though reps from both sides insist that Pitt and Jolie are 'just friends'"

Okay cool, so I can go along with that, I can have that they are just friends. Yeah, the Most Beautiful Man in the World, and multi-timed voted most beautiful woman are just hanging out because they like each others company. It could be because they are 2 of the few people that can look directly at each other and not melt from the beauty of themselves. We have heard that their assistants have to wear welders masks when around them to avoid being blinded by their good looks. That could just be a vicious rumor that we are hoping will be started.

Basically Brad and Angelina have been spotted together doing everything from flying planes to shopping to visiting African countries, etc. BUT they ARE NOT TOGETHER. Bold caps and everything. So even though Brad is about to adopt Angelina's children they ARE NOT TOGETHER! Even though Angelina has moved into Brad's house they ARE NOT TOGETHER! and now even though Angelina IS pregnant, and it is Brad's biological child, they ARE NOT TOGETHER AND HAVE NEVER BEEN TOGETHER!

Anyway, we think that this is just another attempt to bred superhumans (see earlier post News of the day: Big NEWS! Big, huge, ginormous! ) along with the other unnaturally beautiful couples.

Good night and good luck.

Teaspoon