Thursday, April 20, 2006
from the diary of...
Day 3
I awoke to the sound of my alarm going off, in my groggy state it sounded like a cruel taunt. Ha. ha... ha. ha... ha. ha... you. have... to. get... up. up...
Where was I? How did I get here? Why did my mouth taste like this?
My mind slowly started bringing things into focus, I appeared to be in my apartment but something was out of place, or more accurately as my thoughts started to become more cohesive, something was missing. I picked myself up off of the floor, my neck out of joint from the awkward way I had slept on it. The room was hot and stuffy, with the headache I had, it reminded me of TJ the morning I awoke with a hangover, 2 prostitutes, a midgit, a pineapple and a donkey swinging from the ceiling fan.
I attempted to piece together the events of the night. No not the night in TJ, I don't ever want to know what happened there, but events from last night.
I came home, that is not in dispute, unless someone knows something that I don't I am going to assume that I came home, seeing as I woke up at home. So I came home I turned on my computer, with the good intention of doing some work on it, well you know what they say about good intentions? In my case it is a bullet train to ol' H-E-double hockey sticks.
It is a little bit odd still to come home and have an office, to know that I could walk around naked and no one would care or see. Not that that stopped my old roommate oh the horror! (Note to self, still need to send Timmy the bill for the last time I poured salt in my eyes to get the vision of his hairy arse out of my head.)
With the realization that I had turned on the computer the previous night I must have done some work on it. I leaped gazelle like, over a pile of clothing that I would swear I had not worn yet, to my computer and moved the mouse to wake up the screen.
The screen warmed up and slowly brightened, all the while I thought to myself this will explain everything. And what was it that I saw? "YOU ARE SCREWED!" ... What ?!?!?! what the hell is that? Did I write it? did someone else? If I did write it was it meant for me or for someone else? Was I suddenly in some horrible life threatening situation, like that damn movie SAW??
Just then I heard the toilet flush. I moved slowly to the doorway, pulling one of my katana's from it's sheath, oh did I fail to mention that I had my swords straped to me when I awakened? Holding the sword in classic en garde position I ready myself for whatever came out of the bathroom...
To say that I was surprised when out of the bathroom wandered a donkey with a midgit on it's back would be a lie. To say that I freaked out and stabbed them both several times with my katana would also be a lie. To say that I opened the front door for them after the donkey asked me to "help a brother out" and then went back to sleep swearing to myself that I would never think or speak of this again would be the truth... Damn Pineapple is poking me in the back as I write this.
I awoke to the sound of my alarm going off, in my groggy state it sounded like a cruel taunt. Ha. ha... ha. ha... ha. ha... you. have... to. get... up. up...
Where was I? How did I get here? Why did my mouth taste like this?
My mind slowly started bringing things into focus, I appeared to be in my apartment but something was out of place, or more accurately as my thoughts started to become more cohesive, something was missing. I picked myself up off of the floor, my neck out of joint from the awkward way I had slept on it. The room was hot and stuffy, with the headache I had, it reminded me of TJ the morning I awoke with a hangover, 2 prostitutes, a midgit, a pineapple and a donkey swinging from the ceiling fan.
I attempted to piece together the events of the night. No not the night in TJ, I don't ever want to know what happened there, but events from last night.
I came home, that is not in dispute, unless someone knows something that I don't I am going to assume that I came home, seeing as I woke up at home. So I came home I turned on my computer, with the good intention of doing some work on it, well you know what they say about good intentions? In my case it is a bullet train to ol' H-E-double hockey sticks.
It is a little bit odd still to come home and have an office, to know that I could walk around naked and no one would care or see. Not that that stopped my old roommate oh the horror! (Note to self, still need to send Timmy the bill for the last time I poured salt in my eyes to get the vision of his hairy arse out of my head.)
With the realization that I had turned on the computer the previous night I must have done some work on it. I leaped gazelle like, over a pile of clothing that I would swear I had not worn yet, to my computer and moved the mouse to wake up the screen.
The screen warmed up and slowly brightened, all the while I thought to myself this will explain everything. And what was it that I saw? "YOU ARE SCREWED!" ... What ?!?!?! what the hell is that? Did I write it? did someone else? If I did write it was it meant for me or for someone else? Was I suddenly in some horrible life threatening situation, like that damn movie SAW??
Just then I heard the toilet flush. I moved slowly to the doorway, pulling one of my katana's from it's sheath, oh did I fail to mention that I had my swords straped to me when I awakened? Holding the sword in classic en garde position I ready myself for whatever came out of the bathroom...
To say that I was surprised when out of the bathroom wandered a donkey with a midgit on it's back would be a lie. To say that I freaked out and stabbed them both several times with my katana would also be a lie. To say that I opened the front door for them after the donkey asked me to "help a brother out" and then went back to sleep swearing to myself that I would never think or speak of this again would be the truth... Damn Pineapple is poking me in the back as I write this.
